some random Man at a bar in Minas Tirith: Is it true that the world is flat for elves?
Legolas: What? No. The world is round. It USED to be flat, but then Aragorn’s ancestors fucked up so bad that it was turned round.
Gimli: What?!
Legolas: Shit, don’t tell Aragorn I said it like that. Don’t tell Elrond I said it like that! It’s just, the earthquakes knocked down some really great redwoods in the northwest—I never knew them, but my dad says they were very wise, and he still holds a bit of a grudge.
Yeah, hey Deborah, I’m gonna be late coming in. There’s another friggin mech battle happening on the highway, and I just know this is gonna be a killer pileup. Might be here for hours.
Yeah, this is some real bullshit, if you’ll pardon my french. Can’t believe our tax money’s going towards this. Anyway, I’ll keep you updated.
aragorn: and then i’ll say “this army” and then you run at them right through me with your army behind you
ghost king, known dramatic bitch who habitually spends like five minutes scaring and chanting at intruders before killing them: oh FUCK yeah let’s do it
i rember when i was in high school, hearing a teacher say “lebron james is rich, the guy who hands him his paycheck is wealthy”, and i think that that’s a really simple illustration of wealth and class that a lot of young leftists these days do not understand
i see a lot of young leftists these days thinking that “having a lot of money = oppressor”, which shows a fundamental misunderstanding in how social classes and the dynamics of power in society work, and as a result they go after actors, athletes, even youtubers, but the thing is most actors, athletes, and youtubers don’t actually own capital. actors don’t own disney or warner bros or 20th century fox, athletes don’t own their stadiums or sponsorship companies, and youtubers certainly don’t own youtube or advertising companies that sponsor youtube channels
many highly successful actors, athletes, and youtubers DO start their own businesses once they’ve amassed enough wealth, but it has to be understood that the large majority acquire their wealth through paychecks given to them, rather than through owning the means of production, and it’s the owning of capital that really determines who runs society and who doesn’t, because it’s those who own the means of production who gets to decide the affluence or poverty of those who don’t
“Why are there so many female archers in fiction?”
Please forgive the clickbait-y title! This is a super complex and interesting topic that I barely scratch the surface of here, but I hopefully will be able to do more justice to things like this in the future!
Also, it’s not the point of the video, but I had fun with the outfits in this- do you have any faves?
mothers and fuckers of the jury. “Dead dove: do not eat” is a label on a bag in the fridge. It means “the content of this bag is exactly what is labeled”. It does not mean “trigger warning uhhh something”. In fact, it means the exact opposite of “trigger warning uhhh something”, because tou use it with other tags. You write a fucked up fic with extreme violence and gore, you tag it as “extreme violence”, “gore” and you tag it with “dead dove: do not eat”. You write a fic with emotional abuse, gaslighting and manipulation, you tag it with “emotional abuse”, “gaslighting” and “dead dove: do not eat”. You write a fic with your extremely niche kink that appeals to like 3 other people and may skeeve out the rest of the fandom, you tag that with your kink and “dead dove: do not eat”. It’s so people know you’re really mean the content warnings.
It’s NOT a catch-all term for “uhhh this may be fucked idk”. TAG YOUR SHIT GENEROUSLY.
[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]
man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.
[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]
man: Rusalki! I don’t know where they come from or how they get here, and I can’t afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can’t let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.
[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]
man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.
[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]
man: You can’t drown me, you little idiot. You’re too small. Shoo!
[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]
man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-
unpopular(?) opinion: it annoys the hell out of me when people tag fic about siblings or other family members with stuff like “this isn’t incest fuck you if you ship it romantically” or whatever
like buddy. I KNOW it isn’t incest. I didn’t think it was incest, I wasn’t thinking about incest at all in fact, and I would really have liked to have CONTINUED not thinking about incest except every damn author in the tag feels the need to remind me about it constantly. people who do this shove incest ships into my face way more than actual incest shippers do because they won’t fucking stop talking about how much they don’t ship incest.
please just tag your fic with the things it DOES contain and don’t worry about the things it DOESN’T, okay. I promise you no one’s gonna think your fic is full of secret incest even if you don’t spend 30 minutes decrying it in the tags before every fic.
ALT
